Funny: Seriously… AARP won’t even cover the damage you old fool

This old guy is easily the most ridiculous person that I have encountered since working at the gas station.

At our gas pumps there is a pay inside button if you wish to activate the pump and fill up your car before coming inside to pay for your gas. It’s my understanding that this is a luxury since most gas stations at this point are either pay at the pump or pay first. I guess this button is not standard but neither is being able to pump first. Anyways you needed to know about this button to understand how this moron screwed up.

What Happened

(This older car pulls up and a little old lady hops out and heads towards the front door).

Wife: I want to fill up my car. What is the easiest way to do that?

Me:  Tell your husband to press the green button that says pay inside so I can activate the pump.

(Simple enough and she asked for the bathroom key. Before she leaves her husband presses the “pay with credit” button instead of the “pay inside” button).

Me: Tell your husband that I will wave at him when he can press the correct button.

(There is a 1 minute or so delay when someone presses the pay with credit button because it’s waiting for you to insert your credit card).

Wife: No problem. (Heads to the bathroom).

(I have other customers to attend to that just walked into the store).

Me: Would you like credit or debt?

Customer #1: What did you do to piss that guy off?

Me: (Look outside at the husband and he is flicking me off) Yeah I don’t know what that’s about because I can’t do anything until the pump clears.

Customer #1: (Laughs) Well good luck with that.

Customer #2: Hello I need blah blah blah. (Starts laughing) That guy over there is flicking you off with both hands and is turning red.

Me: (I look down and the pump use icon is clear so I waved at the guy).

Customer #2: Yea I would not want to go deal with him. Have a great day.

(I rush outside to tell the guy to press the pay inside button. Before I get to him he presses that pay with a credit card button again. )

Me: Sir you should probably just move to a different pump and I will press the pay inside button for you.

Husband: F*ck you, you piece of sh*t, you f*cking arab, you shouldn’t own a God damn gas station if you can’t run the damn thing.

Me: Sir (as calmly as I can) you pressed the wrong button again and I can’t do anything about it until it clears. I didn’t do anything wrong.

Husband: We need to get off foreign oil so all of you f*cking arabs can get the f*ck out of our country. I’m going to take my business elsewhere.

Me: (Well I’m pissed at this point). First off you are very racist. Second off you can kiss my very white ass before you leave. ( Nothing wrong with being Arabic but I’m clearly not).

Husband: (The guy does a short lunge at me like he is going to pick a fight with me). I will kick your arab ass.

Me: ( I just walk back towards the store laughing. This guy is short, chubby and nearly 60 years old easily).

Husband: Get over here I will kick you sand n*gger ass.

Me: Sir if you so much as consider hitting me I will do so much damage to you that even AARP isn’t going to be able to help your sorry ass.

( Old dude gets back in his car and squeals his tires as he pulls out. I get back inside the store and continue working on whatever).

(5 minutes later)

Customer #3: Hey can I get the key to the bathroom.

Me: (Shoot the woman must have hopped back in the car with the key) Sorry but I think the key is missing.

Customer #3: Okay well I’ll be back in a few minutes I gotta run next door really quickly.

Me: No problem. (Seriously this sucks that she stole the key).

(I hear a loud thud meaning the bathroom door just closed. Here comes the old woman walking around to bring the key back inside).

Wife: Where is my husband at?

(Before I can utter a word the husband comes to a screeching halt with his car by the front door).

Me: It’s a long story that you should ask your husband about.

What I was thinking

1)      Clearly this wife did not tell the husband that I was going to wave at him upon the pump clearing. So maybe I could have improved the situation had I assumed that she wasn’t going to say anything.

2)      If I had been thinking I should have told the guy what kind of hurry are you in since your wife is taking a crap. You’re not exactly going anywhere.

3)      I work out 7 times a week did that guy really think he could take me.

4)      I should have just called the cops on this moron.

Side Note: Yes off the top of my head I said the AARP thing. Not something that I thought of afterward to sensationalize the story.