One night while I was working the graveyard shift at a grocery store I remember hearing all kinds of yelling coming from the front of the store. I ran up to the front to see what all of the commotion was about to discover my incredibly angry night shift manager. It seems all of the rumors of one of my co-workers paying a bum to do something to piss off my manager came to fruition. I couldn’t really understand what the guy was yelling because he was so mad. The guy left after he grabbed some cleaning supplies. Somehow nobody seemed to know what took place.
The night manager comes in and gets everyone into a team meeting.
Night Manager: I don’t care who payed the bum or why but by God if you do something like that again I will kill you.
Me: What are you talking about?
Night Manager: You better be asking because nobody told you and not because you did it.
Me: Nope, yesterday I was definitely putting away cereal boxes in the aisle when you came into the store livid.
Night Manager: Apparently one of you assholes paid the local bum to take a shit in my truck bed and then smear my name in feces on the back window.
Me: Wow that is pretty sick.
(Manager walks away)
Co-worker: Yea I paid the guy five bucks to do that last night. Genius or what?
Me: Just so you know. Though hilarious you’re a little twisted.