Funny: That’s Allstate’s Stand and Mine Too

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Customer service as highlighted in many of the stories on the site is an experience every time you go to work. This one comes to us from an Office Supply Store.

My store focuses on customer service so whenever a customer enters the store it is our duty to greet the customer and then take them to the aisle or section of the store to find whatever the customer happens to be looking for. Well most customers are pretty easy to deal with when they want something but today was an exception to the rule.

Me: Good morning!

Customer: So I need to find some like office chair wheels or something like that.

Me: Wheel casters, follow me.

Customer: Okay so I was talking to someone the other day and they told me they are kinda standard or something like common in all of the chairs. I need one that is like this one I ripped off my chair at work. (Hands me a wheel).

At this point the customer is sweating profusely, keeps scratching his face and mumbling something I can’t quite hear.

Me: Well I think you are right that the metal pegs that go into the wheels are pretty standard.

Customer: Okay well I want to make sure that you are right. Can we open the package and compare? I won’t tell anyone and then if it is wrong I will just put it somewhere else in the store.

Me: I can’t do that because there is no way to reseal and sell it to someone else.

Customer: I won’t make you do it. (Sets down his Frozen Coke and rips open the box)

Me: Well you pretty much just bought that.

Customer: Yeah… no. Now let’s see if this thing fits. (Sticks metal peg inside his wheel). Cool it fits but how do I know if the other metal pegs will work?

Me: If the metal peg fits in one wheel and they are all the same then the metal pegs will also work in the other wheels.

Customer: No, no, no! I need to find the chairs that we bought for the office. My boss at Allstate was just in here the other day and we bought like 10 chairs. (Frantically walking all through the office furniture section drinking his slurpee)

Me: I don’t know what chairs you guys bought but they should work.

Customer: Sure, sure, sure! Now I need the peg out of my wheel. So do you have any pliers so I can pull this out?

Me: (I’m incredibly irritated at this point) Nope, sorry we don’t have any tools that I can access.

Customer: (Starts pacing and looking around then begins to yell).  Anyone know if there is some pliers around here? I need pliers!

“Out of nowhere like a frickin ninja my co-worker pops around the corner carrying a pair of pliers”

Other Store Employee: Here you go. (Hands man the tool)

Customer: Here I will hold the pliers and hold onto the peg. You hold onto the wheel and we will try to pull it apart.

Me: (I turn to my co-worker and give him a glare) Once he put the peg in the wheel it gets locked into place.

Customer: Pull harder you p*ssy!

Me: Neither of you are weak. I just told you that it is locked in there.

Customer: Damn! Okay well fine I will just buy these wheels.

(We both walk to the front of the store so the customer can pay at the register)

Customer: The line is too long. Can you show me something cool around here?

Me: Nah, just get in line it won’t be very long.

Customer: Come on. If you came to where I work I would help you because that’s good customer service. I would make sure you were in good hands cuz that’s Allstate’s stand and well it is kind of my policy too.

At this point I’m trying not to laugh in this guys face.

Me: I need to go help another customer so please just get inline and the cashier will help you. ( Walk away pretending to talk into my two-way headset)

30 minutes or so go by and I’m sure this guy is gone and I won’t have to see him again anytime soon but little did I know he would forget the wheel he brought with him and is slurpee on the counter.

Me: (I answer the phone) Thank you for calling Office store.

Customer: Hey I left my wheel and slurpee can you save them for me until tomorrow.

Me: Sure I will put it by the cash register for you.

Next Day

Customer: (Enters the store and runs over to me) Hey! Where is my sh*t!

Me: I put the wheel over by the cash register. I’ll go grab it for you.

Customer: Okay… thanks but where in the f*ck is my slurpee?

Me: It melted so someone threw it away.

Customer: I only drank half of that slurpee. Why didn’t you save it for me? I asked you to save both the wheel and the slurpee for me!

Me: It melted so we tossed it out. Sorry about that.

Customer: Where is you manager?

Me: My manager is not going to replace your slurpee.

Customer: Whatever! You lied to me.