Funny: How To Not Pay A Gas Station Attendant

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How not to pay me at the gas station:

1)     Toss your credit card on the counter and have it bounce at me. ( I one time couldn’t control myself and bounce the card back at the customer in the same fashion and he got pissed off at me, although he acknowledged he deserved it:)

2)      Toss your money at me bill by bill while you count ( I hope you don’t pay every one like this).

3)      Hand me your cash completely wadded and point at your car (use your words).

pile of bills career purgatory

4)      Hand me a tiny folded up bill and seem irritated when I take the time to unfold it before I stick it in the drawer and give you your receipt.

Seriously, I do have to unfold, and count this.

(Seriously I have to unfold this, and count it.)

5)      When I’m holding my hand out to receive your cash or credit card and you set it on the counter for no apparent reason. (You shouldn’t drive if you are blind).

6)      Pull a wadded up bill out of your bra and hand it to me, this is no more impressive when I have to watch you remove your cellular phone, and then fish around for your money.

Something along the lines of this video:

7)      Put a pile of coins on the counter and be irritated that I need to count it. ( You were to bothered to count it and I’m too bothered to take you at your word jackass).

8)      Pull out a soggy bill that you just fished out of your gym sock in front of me.

soggybill career purgatory

9)      Sneeze into your hands holding your cash then pay me with that cash. ( To combat this douchery I should have made it a point to scratch my balls then see if I could get him to shake my hand. By The Way… F U!)

10)   Hand me an extra 3 cents after I have already cashed out the drawer then give me a look of utter amazement when I know how to give you your change back. (Your acknowledgment of disbelief reflects worse on you than me. You thought this would be a difficult task).

  • John

    You sir, are a genius. I work at a Citgo during the summer and I get all of the above CONSTANTLY! I’ve resorted to throwing cards back as well. What I usually do when someone hands me money that’s folded up is hand them their change the exact same way. I dont expect people to be perfect, especially when they’re in a rush, but have some common respect!!

  • Rick

    I think this is my favorite piece thus far. People do this sht all day every day at my gas station. People are fcking rude ass morons and the fact that so many of them don’t even know any better speaks volumes for our present day society. I apologize, my accolades to you and your creativity turned into a rant.

  • Lewis

    Agree 100% I have to deal with these dipshits every day. As I was reading this it felt as if I had written it. It’s amazing how smug and self-absorbed these people can be. My favorite are those who hand me a $50 or $100 bill and feel the need to tell me what it is; “that’s a fifty, dear!” I could go on and on. I get customers every day that just search for things to complain about. They get so arrogant because they want to see how far they can push me. One guy almost had a heart-attack when I told him to “go fuck” himself. Then he asked for my name as if I was just going to tell him. He cried “false advertising” when I changed the price but didn’t get a chance to change the price sign. Where I work there is only 1 person on at a time. So between dealing with these pricks I have to make time to abandon the station and manually swap numbers on the sign. That whole “I’m only one person with two arms” explanation doesn’t cut it for some people though. “The customer is always right” = a serious cop-out for these stupid bastards to do whatever they want. Seriously though, fuck these goons. If you’re someone that likes to fuck with the average hard-worker then fuck you.