Funny: Drugs are bad Mkay!
This girl was a fine example of how you shouldn’t make assumptions about people. Like whether or not they are sane when you see them walk into your store.
(Girl 1 walks in and sets her monstrosity of a purse on the counter).
GIRL 1: Can I please get a pack of Newports?
Me: Sure, can I see your ID please?
GIRL 1: I was really hoping that you weren’t going to ask. I really hope you will accept this… (as she digs through her purse).
Me: I’ll Take any legal document as long as it IDs you and your age.
GIRL 1: Okay awesome. (Hands me a paper). So I just spent that last two nights in jail and they took my drivers license but this is my release form with my picture and birthday.
Me: Okay… (turned around and grabbed her cigarettes).
GIRL 1: Can I light a cigarette really quick and go outside. I would buy a lighter but I don’t have enough money for one.
Me: Sure just be quick. I don’t want the smoke in here.
GIRL 1: Thanks (lights up and goes outside).
(Not even 30 seconds later)
GIRL 1: Do you have a cell phone I can use?
Me: (Thinking Hell No are you borrowing my phone). Here you can use the stations phone if its local.
GIRL 1: Thanks! I need to call my sis who is going to pick me up and then I need to call the police station to ask about my ID.
Me: Sure whatever (hand her the phone).
GIRL 1: (Calls who I assume is the sister) Girl please come get me the police just dropped me off at the corner like I was a whore or something. Damn pigs! Come get me I’m at the gas station. (Opens up her purse and pops three pills with a swig of pop). No dammit come get me now.
(Hands me the phone and goes back outside)
GIRL 1: (Walks back in) I forgot to call the police station. (I hand her the phone) Talking into the phone: I just spent two days in there and I got out today. What happen to my drivers license? You cut it up? How can I drive? (Hangs up the phone).
(Hands me the phone and goes back outside where she begins to cry)
GIRL 1: (Walks back inside) Bad luck these couple of days. I guess they confiscated my drivers license because of why I got pulled over. I was driving with my niece who was in the back seat. I was driving just fine but she must have dropped her bottle of pop. The bottle rolled under my seat and hit me in the leg. While I was trying to reach down and grab the bottle I must have swerved with a cop behind me. He claims I was swerving for a couple of minutes back and forth. Damn cop made me go to the hospital and get a blood test! Then I got tossed in the slammer because supposedly my med levels were off. Cop accused me of abusing my pain killers. My pain killer intake wasn’t too high the docs and cops just don’t understand. I drive all of the time. (Names the drug). Its kind of like Vicadin it doesn’t make you unsafe to drive. (Opens up purse and pops two more pills).
GIRL 2: (Walks up to the counter). I need $10 put on pump 5. (Stretches out her t-shirt in front of her and reaches into her bra and pulls out a wad of cash, her ID and a few business cards).
GIRL 1: I just saw your tits. Just because you have big boobs don’t mean you have a built in wallet. (Turns to me) Sure as sh*t you better not give her a discount because she just flashed you her titty.
GIRL 2: Girl you just jealous. Now shut your mouth you cracked out bitch.
GIRL 1: I ain’t on crack, I ain’t on no drugs.
Me: Your all set, your pump is ready.
GIRL 2: Did you give me a discount.
Me: No why would I?
GIRL 2: What you need to see them both for that.
GIRL 1: Just get out of here you ho. Only a stripper has cash next to their tits.
Me: First, I don’t want to see that. Second, I can’t give you a discount regardless of what you do.
GIRL 2: Why not, are you calling me fat?
GIRL 1: Oh you a big ol’ b*tch.
GIRL 2: Whatever you skank. (Leaves the station).
GIRL 1: Can I get a lighter if I flash you?
Me: You just heard me say I can’t give you a discount or give away stuff no matter what you do.
GIRL 1: Damn! (Opens up her purse and pops two more pills). Well my ride is here anyway. Goodbye!
Thoughts
Girl one would have been crazy enough to require a purgatory post but when girl two came into the picture I just knew I had to write down the strangeness that I had just witnessed. In hindsight I probably should have called the cops on girl one for abusing the medication but I was kind of taken back and just watching the craziness that was ensuing at the time. This whole episode is also why I was chewed out for allowing people to use the phone and now am not allowed to let anyone use the phone unless it is for a dire reason… despite the fact that pay phones are now merely a part of history so what people without cell phones are to do is beyond me.
Descriptions (If for some reason you care)
Girl 1: 5’5” blonde, average, hair in a pony tail, wearing sunglasses on top of head, blue shirt and shorts.
Girl 2: 5’8” brunette, chunky, white t-shirt and blue jeans.