Funny: The iPhone is a Life Saver
This really strange guy always comes into the store. He is kinda shifty has really buggy bulging eyes and mumbles to himself the entire time he is in the store. Whenever this guy came into the store I try to get him to get his stuff and get out. The one thing that is most peculiar is he requires a plastic bag for every item that he buys. It doesn’t matter what it is or what its size. He once bought 3 packs of cigarettes and 5 candy bars and demanded that they were all in individual bags. I decided months ago this guy had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) but after the following encounter he is just weird.
Weirdo: (Enters the store and is walking around)
Other guy: (Walks in) Hey which way do I go to get to Indianapolis.
Me: Well if you take the freeway towards Detroit then head south on I-75 you will see signs blah blah.
Other guy: I didn’t come that way a few days ago. (Looks around store and spots the Weirdo)
Weirdo: (Walks up to counter to get buy cigarettes)
Other guy: (Turns to weird guy) Do you know how to get to Indianapolis?
Weirdo: Well I don’t know off the top of my head but I do have my trusty iPhone in my pocket.
Other guy: (Rolls his eyes) Okay so what do I need to tell you.
Weirdo: What is the address you are going towards.
Other guy: 5555 Street
Weirdo: What city?
Other guy: Indianapolis.
Weirdo: Oh yea, no problem. (Messes around with his phone for about 5 minutes mumbling) Sorry I don’t have mastery over such a wonderful device like my kids do.
Other guy: Whatever, where do I go?
Weirdo: (Tells the Other Guy the same thing I just told the Other Guy) All thanks to my trusty iPhone.
Other guy: Thanks. (Heads toward the door)
Weirdo: (Grabs the Other Guy’s shoulder) If you plan on ever getting lost again you should probably just buy and iPhone. It saves lives, seriously!
Other guy: Don’t touch me! That phone is expensive.
Weirdo: Doesn’t matter. There is no excuse for not owning an iPhone. You should just quit spending money on useless stuff.
Other guy: (Leaves gas station shaking his head)
Weirdo: (Says to me) what an idiot. Everyone should have an iPhone. Actually I should have told him to buy himself a new car. The old car looked like a total piece of sh*t.
Me: That’s pretty mean.
Weirdo: (Buys 1 pack of cigarettes) I expect that to be double bagged today.
Me: Why do you need 2 bags for 1 pack of cigarettes?
Weirdo: I collect all of the plastic bags and stick them in my trunk.
Me: So you never throw them away?
Weirdo: Nope never. I have like 2000 plastic bags in my trunk. That way if I ever get into a car accident all of the plastic bags will help protect my car.
Me: Are you that worried about getting rear-ended while driving?
Weirdo: You mean you’re not? You’re just as dumb as that other guy. I bet you don’t have an iPhone either. (Walks out of the store).
No longer do I think he has OCD. I think he is just completely screwed up in the head.